You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
