Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
