If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
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It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
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Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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