The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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