Are we in a gay sports bar?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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