The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I AM VODKA MAN
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
