I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
