I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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