I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize