help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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