i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
