We won't sleep together?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
