Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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