i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize