the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
