wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Your cock deserves a montage
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
