This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
