I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
