you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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