Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
