I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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