I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
