You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
