problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
