butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize