i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize