my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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