I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
