i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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