dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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