fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
