is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
