I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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