i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
