And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
