The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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