Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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