i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
