Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
