Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
