i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
