If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
