Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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