Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
