His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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