I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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