once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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