Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize