he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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