He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
