Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
