We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize