I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
