eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize