Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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