There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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