I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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