I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
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