yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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