do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
