she looked like the bat from fern gully.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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