hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
