I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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